Confused man scares artist Ellen ten Damme in her own Amsterdam houseboat

'Houseboats seem especially popular amongst confused men'


The famous Dutch artist Ellen ten Damme was confronted with a confused man  last Monday night in her houseboat in Amsterdam. The man thought he lived there and would not leave. "He even was wearing a scarf that my mother knitted, and said it was his own"


When the singer came home she found the man. "He drank red wine, had the fireplace lit, watched TV, hookah there, and said it was his house!", she reports startled. He brought a rug of his own and spread it over the floor, and some plants had been moved. The man also did some laundry in the house of the singer. “He even was wearing a scarf that my mother knitted, and said that it was his own.” He clearly tried to make himself comfortable and he reallyfelt at home. 

Ellen ten Damme Houseboat

(Photo: Maarten Brante)

French intruder

The police finally came to pick up the man. "The investigation has indicated that it probably was a Frenchman. He spoke gibberish in French. Hence he had drunk my best bottle of wine. "Police are investigating how the man came inside.”


Burglars hate houseboats

In general houseboats are not the favourite target for burglars. The reason for this is that houseboat in general have only two exits: the first is the official entry and the other one is straight into the water. But when you’re confused, drunk or stoned, these basic rules don’t apply anymore.


"I want cookies, not money"

That’s emphasized by another houseboat owner in Amsterdam East, who does not want to have his name mentioned. But he clearly recalls the day that he found a clearly confused man sitting on his couch, eating cookies. “My first reaction was to punch the invader in the face, but then I saw he was clearly not flying straight. He was not planning to leave, and played on our PlayStation as it were his own. When I said I would call the police, he only asked for more cookies.”